Life Isn’t Simple

See, what’s hard about it all is that life isn’t simple. Growing up, experiencing the world, having adventures, finding love, settling down – none of it is simple. Sure, having any of those moments is a blessing; being alive is a goddamn miracle. But none of it is simple.

I’m lucky enough to have checked a lot of boxes. I survived the tumultuousness of childhood and teenage angst. I went to a good school, got a degree, and found a job. I traveled, saw the world, and left home. I fell in love at an age when love felt like an all-encompassing experience and even better, I maintained that love and grew it into something stable. Now, I have a home, a husband, and a dog. I did what I was supposed to do so in theory, everything should be simple.

But being a human being is immensely challenging. It makes little to no sense, even and especially when it’s supposed to. We can’t escape the tragedies that come with being a person. Life is hard, but it can feel wrong to say so if you have enough materials, and you have safety, and you’re more or less content. Let it feel wrong because neglecting feelings only makes things worse. So, I’ll go first. I’m here, as someone who has checked the boxes and has the things, telling you that my life feels hard.

It dawned on me recently why, in part, that might be the case. It’s because what they don’t tell you about doing what you’re supposed to do is that once you do, you’ve got this new thing on your plate called expectations. You’re expected to be great; you’re expected to do something amazing with the lucky hand you were given. That’s your consolation prize. And then we wonder why these people who look like they’ve truly made it are so deeply unhappy. It’s because no one reminds us that no matter what, no matter if you checked every box or none at all, life isn’t simple.

There’s no middle ground, no happy medium. There’s just an infinitely complex spectrum that has a zillion different lines and levels and data points. Some people, if you look at it one way, land higher up on the spectrum. But turn your head one millimeter to the right and you’ll see those same people land dead last on a different line. There’s no such thing as a perfect life. We know this.

I guess the point of this is to remind myself to have more empathy and to remind you to do the same. Have more empathy for yourself, your friends, your family, and for strangers you never meet. Being a human being is hard. Life is hard. Whether you have everything going for you or nothing at all, remember that we’re in it together. You’re doing fine. You’re doing just fine.